Life is Fleeting
by Fluidfyre
Summary: Something found while hunting the Shadow Broker quickens Commander Shepard, and she realizes how little time she has left with Thane. LotSB DLC spoiler warning. One-shot.


**A/N: **Departing from my DA story just for a bit (don't worry, it's still chugging along!), wrote this in reply to a ME kink meme and I like it, so I wanted to share it here! It is rated M, but it's not super bawdy. Just as your warning! Not specifically my 'Jade Shepard' that Rising Tide and Memento Mori use, but a similar personality (this doesn't fit that plot hehe). Enjoy!

As always, Mass Effect and its characters belong to Bioware. As does my soul.

* * *

_I will await you across the sea. _

_Thane_

Shepard's eyes blurred as she looked at the screen, hand tightening at the edge of the console to keep herself steady. She wasn't ready to think of this, she hadn't had enough time. The Collectors were dead, and even if the Reapers loomed in some distant space to destroy them all, she had convinced herself she would have _time_. She punched the command to transfer the letter to her omni-tool.

Sweeping back, Shepard plugged her tongue against the roof of her mouth, feeling her resolve waver. She could hear him in the writing. She needed to hear him.

"I should go. I'll - I'll visit soon, Liara."

"Of course..." Liara turned from her distraction at the massive bank of HUDs to see that Shepard was already out the door at the back of her control room. She expected as much. She'd gathered the information for her Commander - for the woman she loved - and knew the letter that waited from Thane.

Shepard wasn't trying to replace a dying man's wife - she was more. She wished she had never said such a thing. Liara closed her eyes and turned back to the engrossing world of her work. Shepard was always more.

Feet heavy through the halls of the storm-riding ship, Shepard steadied her breathing, punching in the activation codes for the Kodiak on her omni-tool. Sniffing in, she shifted her weight from foot to foot as she stood in the airlock. Once onboard, she leant over the terminal and contacted the Normandy.

"EDI? Where is Thane?"

"Mr. Krios is currently in the medical bay."

The Kodiak rocked hard, the crack of lightning as they pushed through the atmosphere dampening the signal and vibrating through the hull.

"Is he alright?" Shepard furrowed her brow.

"Dr. Chakwas is completing her daily evaluation, it is not an abnormality."

Another cut nicked her heart, "Right. Pl... please ask him to meet me in my quarters when he is done."

"Of course, Commander." The AI paused before saying, "There is an inconsistency in your voice pattern. Did you require assistance?"

"No, thank you EDI."

Shepard closed the console and disconnected the signal, turning back through the small cabin. The Kodiak pitched again, and her eyes glazed as she looked out the window.

She was a marine. She'd lost good people. Her job was to stay cool, to be the cliff against which others broke. She was made to hold together when all others failed.

Shepard tightened her hand into a fist, sinking to strap herself in at the pilot's notification. They wouldn't so easily weather the storm. Elbows on her knees, she hung her head down, controlling her breathing with the mantra she had learnt long ago to control her body when her mind was on the open seas. Steadying her head in her hands, she didn't move again till she heard the clamps lock and they were safely inside the Normandy.

Bypassing the crew in the cargo bay, Shepard strode for the elevator, scarce acknowledging EDI as she confirmed deliverance of the Commander's request to Thane. He was just completing the check-up. In her quarters she fed Boo and loosened her hair, all but pacing before she transfered the information Liara had garnered onto her personal terminal. Then the door of her room opened.

"Thane."

The collar of his jacket was pulled free and the straps down the front were undone. He raised a brow as he walked in, "Jane... what troubles you?"

The orange glow of her omni-tool faded as her hands dropped to her sides. Seeing him helped. The depth of his eyes, the speckle of darker scales over his ridges, the way his jacket hugged his arms. But it wasn't enough.

She was having trouble breathing again. He couldn't see this. He couldn't know what she'd seen. But try as she might it wouldn't harden to the steel core she needed.

"Siha..."

The inflection just deepened the gash, and her breathing stuttered as he came closer. He took her hands, the set of his brow deepening as he met her eyes. Pulling out of his grasp, Shepard slung her arms around his neck, holding him snug against her. There was a rumble of concern in his throat, but his hands slid up her body, and he kissed just below her ear.

"What happened?"

He hadn't been there on Illium when Tela Vasir almost killed her. Her ribs still ached, despite the medigel coursing through her weaves. He had given her space when Liara came onboard to fly to Hagalaz, and had not questioned when she chose Garrus to come with her to the ship. Shepard had stayed there to tend to an injury from battling the former Shadow Broker while Liara roped in some of the systems - and provided her with easily found intel on her team.

Shepard closed her eyes and shrugged, "I missed you."

"Endearing as that is, I have not known you to become emotional from our time apart." Thane murmured, his fingers lacing through the hair at the base of her neck. She sighed and he kissed her neck and cheek before meeting her eyes.

There was how he smelled and the sound of his voice. The comfort of his arms and how they made the rest fade away. There she found reprieve, a solitude in his company that let her forget the weight on her shoulders, if only for a time.

A haven that would soon be gone.

Turning him, Shepard pinned Thane against the wall at the top of the stairs, kissing him quickly to quiet her thoughts. She needed him, she needed to show they were still together - that he was still alive, still hers, and not some murmur in the tide. He grunted at the force, catching her hand as she moved it to the wall by his hip and rubbed up into him.

It was only when she let him breath, knowing he needed to, not for her, no - no she would have kept kissing, devouring his presence - that Thane murmured, "Enough words then..."

Thane dipped his hand down Shepard's thigh as they kissed again, and she groaned as their tongues twined. He hoisted her up and she wrapped her legs around him, riding his fingers up her sides as she fell into his neck. Eyes closed, he swayed back against the wall, hand on her ass to hold her up as she suckled along the red ridges. Behind her the fish swirled in the tank, bathing them in a blue glow.

Already her vision had started to slip, the speed of her pulse trembling in her throat as she found his lips again. Such firm lips, and the way his hands gripped her with need, passion and abandon. Groping for life. Was each moment like this for him? Taking in every inch, memorizing every detail, the pebbled texture of his skin, the foray of their tongues - a wrestle for dominance between two alpha personalities.

Shepard moaned as she fell back against the bed, Thane swicking the zipper of her uniform down with eidetic ease and biting into her breast. She sucked a breath through her teeth, arcing off the bed as he moved her and pulled the rest of her clothes off. His jacket and pants were discarded, and his mouth was on her nipple, fingers over her abdomen as she tugged at the back of his neck.

Groping for his loins, Shepard caressed up his shaft as Thane met her lips, breath rough as he kissed her and slipped his conjoined fingers between the dampness of her sex. The muffled sounds of their met satisfaction was lost in their lips, stroking and flecking, tugging and burying as they pleasured one another.

Thighs tensing, Shepard flipped Thane - was allowed to flip him - and the drell chuckled as she planted her hands on his chest. His dark eyes opened, meeting her own dilated gaze as each breathed deep. The room around them melted, whorling with colours at the high from his skin, and she ground her hips with his, teasing her sex along the red-ridged hardness of his member.

Thane groaned, their lips close as Shepard leant over him, straddling his waist and control the tease of her wet, wanting nether-lips. He was cool against the flushed heat of her skin, and his eyes half-closed, the betrayal of his desire. His hand was on her hip, the other down her stomach to touch the nub of her pleasure.

God yes.

Shepard closed her eyes, grinding into his hand, into his cock, still denying him entrance as she hovered over him. Her thighs tensed, as did his hand on the curve of her muscle, drifting back to her ass. With a quick grip and repositioning he was in her and she moaned heavily, her forehead falling against his cheek as she shuddered.

He always did things like that. Leaving her thinking she had the upper hand, but his body was perfection, trained and honed, never far from taking control. He remembered it all without fault, remembered her scent, their lips, what made her scream, and tense, and moan.

Rocking together, Thane crossed his arms over Shepard's back to keep her close. They kissed again, vocalized pleasure vibrating into the other as muscles tensed to drive the thrusts, her pert breasts with nipples hard, agitated by his rougher skin. Thane dug his heel in the bed, urging his hips up with the hard tempo of Shepard's thrusts as she rode him, breathing growing ragged.

She sat up, realizing she was gasping, panting - Thane, yes, oh God yes, Thane, please - her skin and body sensitized, her vision dancing and heart rushing fast. She was losing her thoughts.

Shepard opened her eyes, looking down to him as she shook her head, eyes suddenly glistening as she saw the abandon in his face. Unreadable to so many, in her arms it broke, when their bodies came together he was filled with life, with expression, with passion. She had to see - she had to remember, she couldn't lose herself in this, not now. She needed every moment.

When she choked a gasp, Thane opened his eyes again, lips parted for needed breath, and he pulled her back down. Their lips crushed together, foreign teeth almost knocking before their tongues joined again. The tears at the edges of her eyes clung as their rhythm fell together, rising with a hurried need.

Thane tangled his hand in her hair, holding Shepard close as his other hand gripped her ass for just the leverage needed. It hit her deep, and she shuddered against him, hand under the pillow beside his head as they ground together.

Shepard closed her eyes tight, unable to keep them open as she tensed and jerked against Thane, her free hand on his shoulder gripping tight. Her long brown hair fell about his face, half-tangled in his grip as she gasped, shuddering as the tension released, flooding through her with a hard moan.

His fingers tightened in her hair, and Shepard's eyes fluttered open as he grunted, gripping her hip as his own thrusts became an erratic haste to his end. He pressed his head back in the bed, quiet gasps overriding her hard pants. Thane lay back in the bed, breathing roughly through his mouth as their bodies slowed, and she watched him the whole while.

It wasn't fair that she wouldn't remember this the way he did. That she couldn't capture every detail to cherish and revisit. That she couldn't slow her pulse or stop the world from dancing - she should feel selfish for missing the simplicity of his high.

Thane pulled Shepard close as she rolled off him, fluids leaking across her and his thigh. Twining together on their sides, he kissed her flushed cheek, nose-to-nose as he wiped a thumb over the single lost tear.

"I love you, Thane."

Tightening, Thane's hand on the back of Shepard's head pulled her into his neck. As she linked a leg around him to keep their bodies snug, he murmured, "And I you, Siha."

Shepard listened to the sound of his breathing before it faded into the usual near-silence. His fingers twirled in her hair, dragging over the back of her neck and lightly drawing out strands. It tugged her scalp in a pleasing way, and she opened her eyes half-lidded. He was watching her. He so often did.

Reaching out, Shepard traced the line down his lips, before following to the notch at the corner of his mouth. The curve of his cheek and slope up to the flare of ridges that followed down his neck. Thane closed his eyes, breathing deeply as her fingers pulled over the ridges of his throat. She knew what it did - she knew now how intimate a caress it was. Something of the trust he had in her that he allowed it. Exposing his throat. There, the ridge of bone in the soft folds.

Thane chuckled, his eyes still closed as he dipped to kiss her fingers before they continued their journey over his brow. She had touched him like this in their first days, explorative - but this was different.

The clinging vibrancy his kisses and skin brought made his skin all the more enjoyable to touch, his eyes all the deeper. An inflection there, the smile he only gave her. But with it came the fatigue at the edges of her consciousness. Shepard blinked lengthily, licking her lips before kissing Thane. She hadn't rested since before they ran amidst the lightning.

"Sleep. I will be here."

Inhaling deeply, she sunk in the bed more. That was what she feared, wasn't it? When he wouldn't be here. Shepard's last thought as she fell asleep was about Kasumi. She needed to find some way, any way she could keep these memories.

Thane could place the tears, the need in her words, the way it trembled on any number of things. She was upset. Like a catalogue, he could compare the lilt of her voice and the movement of her eyes from every instance they had spent together.

_The light is dim, flickering, and she stands slumped. There is blood on the floor, amidst scratches and weapon burns. She holds a small holo, where chubby cheeks smile and look for a father not preset - Rolson's daughter. Her voice is empty, "They're gone. The Collectors took them."_

Tracing the curve of her cheekbone, Thane silently exhaled, listening to Shepard's breathing deepen. Her body was lax in his arms, heavy on the bed as the tension fled her features. He enjoyed watching her sleep more than most anything, save perhaps the poise on the battlefield. The lines of strain were gone, showing the youth of her features.

Gingerly removing his arms from her, Thane pulled the blanket over Shepard and got up without disturbing the mattress. Striding up the stairs to the washroom, his eyes roamed and he stopped as the door slid open. She had left her terminal on.

Not one to pry into her affairs, Thane reached to close the screen when something familiar caught his eye. The persistent tightness in his chest worsened, and for a rare moment he was caught unmanned.

His letter. How did she have it? Her emotion, the haste, the need, it all compounded to fit as a perfect answer to having read it.

Looking through the glass case of model ships, Thane saw she still slept.

There was no harm in her reading it beyond what his presence and the reality of his illness wrought. Selfish, he thought - he was selfish. But some of the ache loosed as he realized she would not let him push her away. He had tried.

It would not suffice as the piece of him to leave with her anymore. Closing the terminal, Thane thought, it simply meant he would have to write more.


End file.
